Most people know Islam as a religion that allows men to have more than one wife. Many people in the world look down on Islam because of this idea. In fact, polygamy is illegal in most countries of the world. But Muslims think of polygamy as not just a normal thing, but a good thing.
Muslims Defend Polygamy
Islam allows a man to have up to four wives. Muslims give several reasons why this should be allowed. The main reason Muslims give is that there are more women than men in the world. Therefore there are not enough men for every woman to have a husband.
Muslims also argue that monogamy is a Western idea. It obviously doesn’t work because of all the divorces seen in the West. On the contrary, polygamy is a custom in all ages and cultures other than the West. Polygamy keeps a wife from being divorced, so the husband can still provide for her.
According to Muslims, men are naturally attracted to more than one woman, so to deny a husband more than one wife is to deny his natural instincts.
The Islamic Reason for Marriage
The main purpose of marriage, and sex, is to have children. So if the wife is barren, then the husband should take another wife so he can have an heir.
The first wife is allowed to object to the husband taking a second wife. If the husband does not listen to her wishes, this is actually grounds to divorce him.
Is Polygamy a Good Idea?
Ideally polygamy might be a good idea. But typically in polygamy, the first wife is forgotten. Story after story is told of a man taking a second wife and then not “providing” enough for his first wife. He gives clear preference to the younger, more beautiful, second wife; and all but forgets his first wife and often her children as well.
Marriage As Ordained by Allah
When Allah created humans, He created Adam and Eve. He created Eve to be Adam’s wife, and only Eve. The Taurat gives this account in Genesis 2:24: “Then the Lord God made a woman. He made her from the rib he had taken out of the man. And he brought her to him. The man said, ‘Her bones have come from my bones. Her body has come from my body. She will be named ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of a man.’ That’s why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. The two of them will become one.”
This is the way Allah created marriage to be. The husband and wife are to become one. How can a husband be one with more than one wife?
A Picture of Christ and the Church
Allah also created marriage to be a picture of Isa Al-Masih and the Church. The best example of this is in Ephesians 5:25-27: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”
A Husband is to love his wife and help guide them both in growing closer to God, just as Isa Al-Masih loved us so much that he died for us, allowing us to have a relationship with God. Husbands can only learn to love their wives correctly when they understand God’s love for them by sending a Savior into the world to die for them.
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SOME QUESTIONS FOR THE COMMENT SECTION BELOW
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1. Why do Muslims think polygamy is a good thing?
2. Why aren’t Christians allowed to marry more than one partner?
3. What does the Bible tell the husband to do towards his wife? Why?
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While polygamy is generating a lot of controversy in the west, most people don’t see the evil and ungodliness of gay marriage. Both the Bible and the Quran condemn gay marriage yet nobody cares about this.
The American laws outlaw polygamy, yet they are now legalizing gay marriage. This is irrational. This I believe, is sheer hypocrisy. The west tries rationlize gay marriage.
We in Africa will always rebuff the West’s notoriety and foolhardiness about gay marriage. We are content with our idea of polygamy, but we shall always fight against gay marriage in this part of the world. We shall accept polygamy as it is the better of the two “evils.”
My question is why is divorce still rampant in the west in spite of the laws in support of monogamy?
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Alii,
You are right that the Bible condemns not just gay marriage, but any type of homosexuality. Many people who are followers of Isa Al-Masih and live in the west are not happy about the laws being passed in support of gays and lesbians.
But we cannot condone polygamy or divorce either. All of them go against what the Bible teaches about marriage.
The first marriage in both the Bible and the Quran is between Adam and Eve, one man and one woman. As this is the first example, it is what every other marriage should follow.
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It must be made clear that Islam did not introduce polygamy. Unrestricted polygamy was a common practice in the ancient world, and in some parts of our 21st century world (such as many countries in Africa) it still is, among people of all faiths.
The Bible states that polygamy was the practice of some of the earlier Prophets such as Abraham, David and Solomon (peace be upon them). Such Prophets are nevertheless held in high respect by Jews, Christians and Muslims alike.
Marriage in Islam is a civil contract that is not valid unless both contracting parties consent to it. It is a free choice of both parties to enter into such an arrangement, and the practice of polygamy is sustained by the fact that some women are willing to marry an already married man.
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Dear Ibrahim,
God doesn’t allow polygamy because polygamy is sin. God only allows monogamy as the divine ideal.
However, there are stories in the Taurat that His people practiced polygamy. However, this doesn’t mean that God agrees with polygamy.
In Mark 19:1-2 and Matthew 19:1-12, Jesus told the religious people (the Jews) that divorce was only allowed because of the hardness of the hearts of man. Divorce and polygamy were regulated in the laws given to Moses because of the hardness of the hearts of man, but monogamy was recoded long before then. From the beginning, God only allows one man and one woman in marriage (Genesis 2:24).
The Taurat tells about godly men who sinned to show that all men have sinned. No one is right (Romans 3:10). Therefore, God sent Isa Al-Masih to be a living sacrifice and a covering for His people. This does not mean that Christianity has a short cut way to life. A person must repent and do what is right according to God’s will. This is why Isa came on earth, to redeem His people from their sins so man can come to God, who is holy (Injil, Matthew 1:21). Jesus came to make right the relationship between God and man. If you would like to know more about how to be made right with God through Isa, go to https://www.isaandislam.com/way-of-salvation/salvation-according-to-the-qur-an-and-the-injil.html.
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Divorce rates in both the Muslim and the non-Muslim world are soaring, so it is untrue to attribute high divorce rates to monogamy. This is a spurious argument.
As for men being attracted to more than one woman, newsflash: women can also feel attracted to more than one man….so why should laws allow humans to act upon sexual impulses?
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Dear Mariam,
I agree with you that laws should not allow humans to act upon sexual impulses. God’s law reveals His heart and His character. God’s law is good for human beings. His law keeps his people away from going astray. His law in fact makes us free.
As a matter of fact, God hates adultery. He hates both adultery of his people’s heart toward other gods, as well as adultery of having more than one partner. From the very beginning, God created one woman for one man (Taurat, Genesis 2:21-25). He also told Israel, through Moses, that the King couldn’t have more than one wife. However, through time, Israel disobeyed this instruction which led them to sin (1 Kings 11:4). These polygamous acts led their hearts away from God. This also led to much sexual immorality like what happened in the Corinthian churches (1 Corinthians 7:2).
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Add before Ephesians 5:25
Ephesians 5:23-24, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their own husbands in everything.”
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Solomon,
You are right that this verse is just as important as Ephesians 5:25. But the two verses must go together. The husband is the head of the wife. And the wife is told to submit to her husband. But in submitting to her husband, the wife knows that because her husband loves her above everything else, he will always make decisions that are good for her.
If a husband is beating his wife or telling his wife to do things that go against the Bible, she should not submit to that, because her husband is not loving her the way Christ loves the church.
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Sir, we know that a man can’t love two people equally, that the society is gender imbalanced and that Christianity is totally against this idea. But for the sake of rationality, and nation building, since polygamy reduces promiscuity and prostitution, don’t you think it’s morally right?
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I don’t agree that polygamy reduces promiscuity and prostitution because all of these are sins. How can one sin solve the other sins? The result would be the same, that is, sin.
God’s ideal marriage is monogamy. Marriage should be sacred in that the two become one. Taurat, Genesis 2:23-24 says, “Then the Lord God made a woman. He made her from the rib he had taken out of the man. And he brought her to him. The man said, ‘Her bones have come from my bones. Her body has come from my body. She will be named ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of a man.’ That’s why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. The two of them will become one.” This is more than just physical oneness; a spiritual union also takes place. It represents God and His church.
Polygamy is sin. Sin leads to death. We need God’s intervention to overcome sin. We can’t fix the problem ourselves because sin is our nature. God sent His only son, Isa Al-Masih, to save us from sin.
Injil, John 3:16-17 says, “ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
When one is saved from sin and follows Isa Al-Masih, he will be guided to live righteously by following God’s way through Isa Al-Masih. To learn more about this, please go to: https://www.isaandislam.com/way-of-salvation/the-divine-way.html
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Polygamy is not accepted, at least in India. It amounts to cheating the woman and using her as a means to quench the sexual thirst and lust of the beastly male. It should be forthwith forbidden in all the respectable religions. Religions which appreciate and encourage polygamy lose the respect in the eyes of an honest human being.
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Yes, it is. I don’t find good reasons why Polygamy should be kept. Thank you.
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The west has propagated the allegation that, because of Islam’s permission of polygamy, the Quran teaches sex-indulgence. Actually, that allegation is based on the age-old misconception of Ascetic (Christian, Jewish, Hindu) ethics, wherein the very fulfillment of the natural biological demand of sex is considered to be unholy, in contra-distinction to the Quranic view, which holds it as sacred, because it is in conformity with the Divine Scheme, and which condemns only licentiousness as unholy.
Thus, the qualified and restricted Quranic permission for polygamy has not been prescribed as a license for sex-indulgence but only as an alternative to promiscuity and prostitution, which it eliminates successfully, in sharp contrast with the Ascetic as well as the Totally-Monogamic social philosophies.
As for the former, one has to read only the history of Christianity in the Age of Faith to witness the most ugly storm of licentiousness that overtook even the pursuers of saintliness, not to speak of the common folk.
Coming to the latter, the modern Western civilization has established the most heinous record of licentiousness (all forms of sexual indulgence that man can possibly thing of),—a record unsurpassed in the history of human civilizations.
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Saddiqh,
I think you are wrong by saying that the Bible sees sex demands as unholy. In contrasts, the Bible taught that sex is holy. Yet, it should be come out from a sacred marriage. As it’s sacred, polygamy is not allowed and it’s sin. The relationship between God and human being is often pictured by the relationship of a husband and a wife. God desires the only love from us and so as to between a husband and a wife.
There is no better way to control adultery other than monogamous marriage. ‘“It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control”’ (Injil, 1 Corinthians 7: 1-5)
May I ask you, what was the success as the effect of Polygamy conducted? A scientific study found that in cultures where plural marriage is accepted there are higher levels of violent crimes, including rape, assault, and robbery (https://www.isaandislam.com/women-in-islam/polygamy-causes-an-increase-in-crime.html). So Polygamy increases more problems.
God desires monogamous marriage, not polygamy. We can be sure about it if we read the Taurat. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Injil, Genesis 2:24). And this is ideal relationship for the better society.
Blessings.
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There is violence everywhere in this world. To say that polygamy caused it in those countries that practiced it?
Perhaps you can explain the actions of these Christians who never practiced polygamy:
Stephen Peter Moran (killed 7 men killed 47 women), Jeffry Dahrmer (raped killed about 20 boys), John Wayne Gacey (killed 30 women), Ted Bundy (raped killed 30-100 women), Richard Ramerez (killed 14 raped 68 women), Gary Heidnik (killed 3women tortured 3 women), David Berkovitz (killed 30 women), Gary Ridgway (killed 49-100 people), Reagan Dominique (raped and killed 23 men).
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Dear Saadiqh,
Thank you for your comment. I am not sure why they did it, like any others who did crimes. Yet, one thing that I am sure is that they sinned. They didn’t obey God’s great commandments: “Teacher (Isa), which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Injil, Matthew 22:36-40). If it’s true that they killed and raped, they don’t fulfill these commandments. If they love God, they wouldn’t do as such acts.
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Having more than one wife but with conditions as mentioned in the Quran makes it very difficult for Muslim man who is really practicing Islam. Because Almighty God knows when a man is playing
around. Therefore He placed tight conditions. So woman are protected at the very best.
In the Quran their husbands should follow the rules first if they want to cheat . However man who is
from other religion is free to cheat because their holy books does not mention any thing or very
unclear if they do. So woman who is from other religion is not protected against cheating from
her husband like the way in details described in the Quran.
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Mehrour,
Thank you for your comment. I agree with you that a man shouldn’t cheat his wive. He should be faithful to his wive throughout his life and shouldn’t be separated. As written in the article, God joins one man and one woman in a marriage. And they also shouldn’t be separated. “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Matthew 19:6). I’d like to invite you to read this article about divorce and marriage: https://www.isaandislam.com/miscellaneous-questions/divorce-and-marriage-according-to-islam-and-jesus.html.
Thank you.
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I think putting God’s love for the church to be similar to husband and wife is the best way that God shows to us. That no matter how many churches are there, He counts them as one. Hence no matter how many women are there, He counts as one. For example, when Adam sinned he didn’t ask eve. Because to him her value is not counted same as old testament looks at women. They were not counted. However due to man’s wishes of equal right which is not biblical, we conduct superiority of man. I see nothing wrong with polygamy especially if you fulfill their needs.
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Godfrey,
Thank you giving a comment in regards of the article above. If we go back to the Bible, it’s not about fulfilling the needs or other wise reasons. But it’s about God’s will. His will is to have one husband and one wife. “Then the Lord God made a woman. He made her from the rib he had taken out of the man. And he brought her to him. The man said, ‘Her bones have come from my bones. Her body has come from my body. She will be named ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of a man.’ That’s why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. The two of them will become one.” (Taurat, Genesis 2:24). The picture of Isa and His church represent Isa’s love to His church. It doesn’t represent the numbers of wives that a man can have. It’s free interpretation.
Blessings.
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I solely believe it is a biased opinion against polygamy. I can see the hypocrisy for legalizing gay marriage but not polygamy. The government uses the Bible to make laws which basically making gay marriage legal and polygamy illegal. I say at the end of the day, it doesn’t mean anything as long as it doesn’t harm anyone or go against their will. Religion, views, race, etc make people judgmental because of their biased opinions. I vote yes for legalizing polygamy because everyone is entitled to practice what they believe in. No one is the judge, just accept it, love it or hate it.
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MRC,
The government did not legalize gay marriage based on the Biblical values. The Bible teaches that a marriage is between one man and one woman.
Moral values are based on right and wrong not on people’s viewpoints. We live in a broken world and if everyone is entitled to practice in what he/she believes in then the world will be even more chaotic and out of order.