My name is Becky (Rebekah). I’m a Christian girl who is currently dating a Muslim man named Abdul.
Abdul is very kind, polite, handsome, and has a great job. He loves me and is respectful towards my parents. Unfortunately, he strictly follows his religion.
My friends have told me not to marry Abdul. They say it’s better not to marry someone of a different religion. Here are the five reasons they gave:
1. Abdul’s Religion Allows Polygamy
“. . . marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four . . .” (Qs 4:3).
I would never ever want Abdul to share his love with other women. Allah’s Word provides the ideal for marriage: “a man will . . . be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Gospels, Matthew 19:5).
Allah desires monogamy, not polygamy.
2. Abdul Can Force Me to Have Sex
My friends quoted Qs 2:223 – “Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish . . .”
This verse gives the impression that wives are sex objects for their husbands. Husbands may satisfy their sexual desires whenever they feel like it. Even if the wife isn’t ready emotionally or physically, the husband can still force her. My friend asked, “Do you want a marriage where sex can be forced?”
3. Islam Allows Abdul to Hit Me
“. . . But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them . . .” (Qs 4:34).
Abdul is very kind to me now. However, domestic violence is a major problem. I never want a husband who can justify domestic violence from his holy scriptures. Email us with your opinion about Qs 4:34 and domestic violence.
4. Abdul Can Easily Divorce Me
I realize marriages sometimes end in divorce. But, according to Islam, Abdul only has to say “talaq” three times to divorce me.
The makes me very worried. I know my husband and I will have fights. But if he gets really emotional, he can just say “talaq” three times, and we’re divorced.
5. Obeying Abdul is My Key to Heaven
My friends encouraged me to read two Hadith. “If a wife . . . obeys her husband, then she will be allowed into heaven . . .” Muhammad said, “A woman that . . . obeys her husband will go to heaven . . .” (Hadith Al-Tabarani, HR. Bukhari and HR Muslim).
From the verses above, it’s clear that one key for women to go to heaven is obeying their husbands.
I cannot accept this teaching. Since I was little, I have believed that Allah’s Word clearly teaches that Isa Al-Masih is the Savior of the world. Only Allah, through Isa’s sacrifice, determines who goes to heaven. If you’re not sure that Isa is the Savior of the world, email us.
“I Feel Imprisoned”
One of my friends shared something else with me that made my decision clear. She shared with me about her friend who had married a Muslim. He seemed very kind, and they really loved each other.
However, after they were married, he changed. He wasn’t treating her well and was very controlling. He wouldn’t let her see her family.
She is miserable and wishes she could leave him, but she’s too afraid. She feels imprisoned.
After considering the five reasons above and hearing my friend’s story, I have decided not to marry Abdul.
SOME QUESTIONS FOR THE COMMENT SECTION BELOW
We encourage our readers to comment on the article above. Comments that don’t directly relate to the topic will be removed. Please start a dialogue with us by focusing on one of the following questions:
- Can you think of another reason why it is better not to marry someone of a different religion? Explain your answer!
- Is there another way Christians and Muslims can marry, and not allow religious differences to interfere with peace in the home? Please share your reasoning!
- Could Abdul not follow some of his religious teachings about marriage so Rebekah could joyfully marry him? Explain your answer!
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