I was born into a Muslim family and remained a devout Muslim for 30 years. I was living in a Muslim country, leading a happy Muslim life. I didn’t need to start reading the history of Islam. But I did. And everything changed.
My quest for truth began when I found out about the legality of raids and slavery in Islam. I started re-reading the Quran to find out what God really allowed. I was disappointed. The more I read, the farther I grew from Islam.
Muslim Rituals are Meaningless
I prayed and fasted, but my daily prayers never calmed me. I never enjoyed Ramadan. Umrah wasn’t a wonderful experience. I will not deny that it was elating to finally be able to see and touch the Kaaba, but I found most of the rituals aimless and odd. Even as a young adult, I couldn’t understand why we had to go around a building seven times, or push and shove others to kiss a stone that carried everyone’s germs.
The Turning Point
The turning point came one summer when I read how Muhammad went into a trance when he received revelations. My grandmother had the ability to capture jinn (spirits) to learn about the future. After the jinn left, she would collapse, drained of all energy. Her writing was often in faultless Arabic and always provided answers to the questions she had asked the jinn.
When I learned about Muhammad’s experiences, I couldn’t help but draw similarities between Muhammad and my grandmother. In these cases, something was definitely revealed, but it was not God speaking through angels. I thought to myself, angels spoke to all of the prophets and they never went into a trance. Even encountering demons didn’t cause them to sweat and collapse. Prophets had power over them.
I continued to study Islam more closely. When I questioned various points, others told me I was inviting Satan to whisper to me. Those close told me I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I wasn’t cheating, lying or stealing. Wife beating, polygamy and oppression didn’t affect me. What else did I want? So I began to search for Truth secretly.
The Final Sign
My faith in Islam hung by a thread and I was just waiting for God to show me the final sign. It came through an Islamic talk I attended. The speaker was talking about the Quran. Someone from the audience asked how many verses there are in the Quran. The speaker explained that no one really knows. The number is disputed because scholars differ in their opinion over where verses end and if some verses are one or multiple verses. However, scholars who look at oldest compilations of the Quran believe that the correct number is 6,666!
At home, I spent a long time searching online for information about Christianity and the antichrist. I found this: “Then I saw thrones, and the people sitting on them had been given the authority to judge. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for their testimony about Jesus and for proclaiming the word of God. They had not worshiped the beast or his statue, nor accepted his mark on their foreheads or their hands. They all came to life again, and they reigned with Christ for a thousand years” (Revelation 20:4). I also found in Revelation 13:18 that the mark of the beast is 666!
The Message of Christ is the Most Peaceful
Knowing all this and more, I couldn’t go on being a Muslim. I studied other religions and came to the conclusion that the message of Christ is indeed the best and the most peaceful. Nothing and no one compares to Jesus.
I continue to read the Bible every day and study Christianity. Those who love me have been very supportive. They have not converted to Christianity, but they know and appreciate how Christ has brought peace into my life.
I now firmly believe that if you earnestly seek truth and keep your heart and mind open, Jesus does find you eventually, for he promised, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).
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1. Have you gone on hajj or umrah? Did you find it meaningful, or were you still empty?
2. What do you think about the trance Muhammad would go into when compared with other prophets?
3. Are you truly seeking truth and keeping your heart and mind open?
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