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Divorce and Marriage According to Islam and Jesus

DivorceTalak! Talak! Talak! Talak is a simple word that can strike fear in the hearts of Muslim women. “Talak” is an Arabic word that initiates a separation between a husband and his wife. An Islamic divorce does not require a witness. Not even the agreement of the wife. The third time the husband utters the word “talak,” the divorce is considered acceptable and complete before God.

Even Joking about “Talak” Can Mean Divorce

In October 2010 a news story broke and quickly spread around the world of a Qatarian man who accidentally divorced his wife. The man jokingly said the word ‘Talak’ to his wife three times during a skype chat. The man later said that he had only been joking with his wife.

Nevertheless, the Darul Uloom Deoband School rejected the husband’s defense.  The Indian school is an Islamic authority on religious law. “When you say 'talak' three times, it means talak has taken place. It does not matter whether the woman had agreed or not,” the school said. They went on to say that before she could re-marry her first husband she would have to do these things: She could not attend any celebrations or have social interaction for 90 days.  After that, marry another man. Then divorce the man. And then have another 90 day period of abstinence.

What Does Marriage Mean In Islam

What is the true meaning of marriage according Islam? What does it mean when a man can so easily divorce his wife by saying “Talak” three times? Clearly, it’s evident that a woman does not have the same rights as a man. Every wife is forced to accept that at any moment, her husband may choose to divorce her.

There are only a few verses in the Quran that defend the rights of women. But there are many verses that support a husband’s ability to divorce his wife. What’s more, a husband may take another woman as a second, third, or fourth wife!

The New Testament’s Great Respect for Marriage

The New Testament highly respects marriage. Someone that follows Jesus is only permitted to marry one woman. Divorce is restricted to cases of adultery or physical harm. The New Testament sees marriage as each partner giving themselves fully to each other. So much that they are spiritually considered as “one flesh.” This teaching of Jesus can be found in Matthew 19:5-6.

The goal of marriage for the follower of Jesus is not merely to meet human needs. The New Testament states that a woman is to submit to her husband just as her husband submits to God. A husband must also cherish and treat his wife exactly like he would treat himself.

The New Testament insists that a husband treat his wife in the same way that Jesus treats his people. Just as Jesus gave himself up for us (not even sparing death), a husband is meant to give himself up for his wife also sparing nothing.  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Ephesians 5:25-27).

The above reference from the New Testament emphasizes that Jesus gives himself for those who give themselves fully to him. Jesus gives us a model for marriage. In order to have a happy and successful home, we need to receive the security and love that Jesus offers each of us.

[If you would like to know more about a personal relationship with God through Isa Al-Masih and the assurance of salvation, please visit us at http://www.isaandislam.com/way-of-salvation.  Isa proclaimed to the world. I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). For a deeper understanding of Jesus we suggest you subscribe to "Isa, Islam, and Al-Fatiha" at this link.]

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1. Why is it so easy for a man in Islam to divorce his wife?
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Comments  

# she 2011-07-01 17:54
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It is sad to know that only a man can say talak, talak, talak and not a woman.
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# Caleb Rahmat 2011-07-04 00:02
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Dear She,

It's sad to know that anyone utters the words talak, or divorce. In marriage, a man and woman are joined together by God to be one flesh. "So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."(Mathew 19:6)

If a man and woman love each other as Christ loves us, there would never be a reason to say talak.
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# mariam 2012-05-03 19:38
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My husband is talking to a woman in cyberspace. Now he wants a divorce. I converted to Islam and have two children. What are my rights?
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# Caleb Rahmat 2012-06-05 15:48
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Dear Mariam,

Isa Al-Masih gave husbands this commandment, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Injil, Mark 10:7-9).
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# chok yit min 2012-07-30 13:26
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May I know of a Muslim husband who is having a strong womanised-life and keeps saying to his wife I'm going to divorce you easily from his mouth? When he does this, is it effective?
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# Jasmin 2012-08-30 21:55
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Dear Chok Yit Min,

In countries where shariah law is in place, such as Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran, and Afghanistan, a man only has to say "Talak" 3 times in a row, and he has divorced his wife.
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# Jasmin 2012-10-29 23:32
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Dear Friends: We highly value all comments on our website. Yet we do have some guidelines:

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# majid 2012-11-27 14:06
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What is the process to apply for khula for a woman according to the law of Islam?
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# Jasmin 2012-11-28 22:02
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Majid,

I do not know the process to apply for khola or talak. What I do know is that God does not like divorce. In fact, he says, "I hate divorce" (Malachi 2:16).

God created marriage as a covenant between a husband, wife, and Himself. This covenant is never to be broken. "'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Injil, Mark 10:7-9).
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# isa 2013-06-18 14:32
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I think we all need to sit down and read the Qur'an more critically, for Allah does not encourage divorce. In fact, divorce is one legal act that is annoying in Allah's sight. If a man says talak 3 times he should leave that woman because he does not know what he wants. Therefore, it's meant to punish the men, not the women.
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# Jasmin 2013-06-20 18:48
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Dear Isa,

It is true that Allah (God) does not like divorce. The Bible does not talk much about divorce. Only two acceptable cases for divorce are given: first, in the case of abandonment of a Christian by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15); second, if a spouse commits adultery repeatedly (Matthew 5:32).

However, God hates divorce (Injil, Malachi 2:16). He does not command a couple to divorce but to be reconciled by forgiving one another and loving one another. He encourages us to seek Him for He’s able to solve any kind of problems. Isa also teaches us to believe that He’s able to solve any and every problem. “For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:8).
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# ummu zakari 2013-11-21 15:40
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You have demonstrated your knowledge in Christianity, but you showed absolute ignorant in Islam. The following are the questions that I have for you:

1. The name of your website, is it a way to deceive the Muslims?
2. What is the way out for abused woman to get a divorce?
3. Do you know any practical lessons in marriage as practiced by Jesus?
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# Aila 2013-11-22 15:35
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Ummu,

Here are the answers for your questions:

1. We are not deceiving the Muslims. Yet, we are trying to open up a discussion between Muslims and Christians about Isa. Isa Al-Masih is the primary issue in Islamic and Christian teaching. However, many followers of these two religions do not really know what the Quran, the Hadith, or Muslim scholars say about Him. For more information about isaandislam.com , please go to: http://www.isaandislam.com/about-us/introducing-isa-dan-islam-websites.html

2. The best way out is not divorce. The best way out is to rely on God and believe that He could solve the problems no matter how complicated it is. Because He doesn't like divorce idea.

3. Isa didn't get married. Yet, He said that we should love others like we love ourselves (Injil, Mark 12:31). He also said that a couple which was unified by God cannot be separated by men. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Injil, Mark 10:6-9).
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# Ham 2015-03-22 13:48
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My question here is that did the woman divorce her husband and get marriage to Muhammad
according the story now? What was next?
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# Aila 2015-04-18 14:40
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Ham,

I am sorry that I don't understand your question. Please explain.
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# Reaz 2016-04-20 16:43
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Can a woman give talak to her husband please?
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# Aila 2016-06-17 18:19
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God's holy book taught that God hates "talak." Have you read the article above? It gives you the explanation.

Blessings,
Aila.
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